The billionth time

My heart used to ache when I watched this. I have seen it so many times that my DVD is worn, so many times that I know the lines, the music, the facial expressions by heart. I have been missing it, so I played it tonight while I worked on my grammar lesson for tomorrow.

I, of course, am speaking of Pride and Prejudice– the version with Kiera Knightley that was release in 2005, my senior year of college.

Don’t mock me. It’s a great movie. And yes, I’ve read the book. I’ve read it at least four times, and I studied Austen in college and even while abroad at Oxford. I’m a bit of a fan and not afraid to admit it. But, a learned, scholarly fan– which is more impressive, surely ;-)

Tonight I watched it for the billionth time. I paused in the making of my PowerPoint and recited lines. I stopped cutting vocab cards to watch all of the truly romantic parts closely. It’s comforting– it always is. And it was just what I needed after a long, long day of teaching. But I noticed something different tonight…

…I was satisfied at the end of the movie.

In previous viewings, that was not the case. At the end of the movie, as I sighed and swooned, I would also have a longing. I wanted a Mr. Darcy. I wanted one badly. Turns out, a Brian is even better.

No, we don’t live in a large manor home with servants and butlers. No, we do not wear period clothing and speak in fancy accents (I might be a little sad about that one). But this thing we’ve got going here is pretty darn special, and SO much more satisfying than the fictional character I thought I wanted.

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