Lots-o-change

So, I told you yesterday that Brian was bragging on me. Gosh– still makes me blush. Anyways… the bragging was centered in large part around the changes going on at my job.

Next year, I will leave the elementary school and go back to being a middle school teacher. We are restructuring parts of our school, so I will still have my beloved 6th grade, but I will also have 7th and 8th grade. I will teach English Language Arts to all three grades, and then teach Bible to 8th grade. It’s another BIG change in a series of BIG changes.

In the last two years I met the love of my life, got engaged, got married, got involved in a new church and a new missional community, moved from south to north Austin, moved in with a MAN and a dog, started at a new job, switched to elementary school, wrote all new curriculum for that position, began turning the bachelor pad into a home for two, got a hematologist and a blood disorder, started a major development program through church, got a new missional community, and now, got a new job.

THERE’S BEEN A LOT OF CHANGE IN MY LIFE.

You’d think I’d be used to it by now. I am much more so than I used to be– that’s for sure. It just feels like I never get comfortable in anything, or else I do and that’s when the change comes. And what complicates this further is that I’m a natural planner– so I plan for all of these futures that never occur.

Our reading last week for Women’s Development was the book of Malachi. In chapter 3, God tells us that he does not change. I smiled when I read it because I learned that verse last semester when I learned about the character of God, specifically God’s immutability, or unchangeableness. God is unchanging in his being, perfections, purposes, and promises (yet God does act and feel emotions, and he acts and feels differently in response to different situations).

This is such a comfort! With all of these changes in position and location and role, my God stays the same. He stays holy and true and perfect– even when I am none of those things and shaking my fist at him that he changed things on me again!

The other part of my life that is unchanging is that I have Brian. I know that some people don’t see marriage as a forever- relationship, but Brian and I take marriage very seriously. We entered into a covenant relationship with God, and that relationship is for life– which I pray will be for many many more years. Our relationship changes, and we as individuals change, but Brian is always there.

After those last two paragraphs, I am reminded that I cannot complain about all of this change. It is my reality– it’s what God has decided for my life. I see the joy in almost all of the changes I listed above, and I can already see joy in this job change to come. No matter what the new school year brings, I have my God and (God willing) my Brian by my side.

Family

Christmas with my family has been different this year. Different, but good. We have a nephew we did not have last year. We’re married now and it’s old hat for everyone.

We’ve had a really good time seeing everyone. Seeing a baby’s first Christmas is awesome, and so was shopping for him. My parents are enjoying being grandparents. All around its been a good time.

But it just feels different because we’re married and I can’t quite explain it. The closest I can get is to say that this year Lindsey and I are our own family. It’s weird, I used to be closest to my parents and my sisters, but now I’m closest to my wife. Marriage really does change things. And that’s good.

Kids

Today I saw my nephew for the first time in months. He’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. He’s also getting so big that I’m afraid we’ll miss out on his cute baby years living so far far away.

I’d be lying if I told you that we don’t see that kid and think about kids of our own. We both want them, and he’s one cute argument in favor of getting the show on the road. But the time is not quite right.

I know that both of our mothers would love to hear differently, but that’s where we are at. Besides, how fun is it to be the aunt and uncle? We get to spoil him!

A much needed weekend

We’re getting close to Christmas and the holiday stuff is heating up while the rest of life may be slowing down. Our packed schedule has been an overdone theme on this blog, but I’m hoping that in the next few weeks that can change.

This week however was not a week where anything slowed down. Lindsey is exhausted and I have not been sleeping well. Pile on a lot of work stuff for each of us, add church and… well, you get the idea.

This weekend needs to be restful. It may or may not turn out be. Lindsey has a test for WDP on Sunday, and I have one on Wednesday. Lindsey has a church thing tomorrow and she will do a lot of studying, but I’m hoping we’re cresting the hill and heading to the downside. Hopefully by the time Lindsey is done with her test on Sunday we can get around to the Christmas decorating that we really want to get to.

Late on a Friday night I don’t have a lot of insight to offer except to say this, I’m glad I have someone I love by my side. I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have in fast times and slow. But I’m hoping slow is coming.

Unless you know

I didn’t write about this earlier in the week because I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or not. However, Brian showed me this article today and I realized that this HAD to be my post.

So, Tuesday afternoon, I’m walking towards my classroom. A woman I’ve had maybe two interactions with before walks towards me. With her hands on her hips she says (and I quote), “Well, if I wasn’t sure before, I am now! The other women and I were talking and I just KNEW you were pregnant.”

(Insert screeching record noise and gasps here.)

Yup. She said that. Nope. I’m not pregnant.

I smiled graciously. “No,” I replied, “I’m not, but we’re talking about it.” I managed to get that out as her hand reached towards my stomach. 

This is not the first time this has happened to me. I’m not a skinny girl. But I was feeling particularly cute that day (up until that point) and I still have NO IDEA what made her so sure. Guess the marriage gut is showing, but seriously, lady? Seriously?! 

This is like Ladies 101. It’s basic. You don’t say anything unless you know for sure. And I don’t usually say anything unless the pregnant person references her own current state of pregnancy. Even then I feel awkward about it.

The woman didn’t skip a beat. She kept talking, though the topic had changed. In fact, I got to listen to her talk for a good ten minutes. I smiled and nodded a lot. I wanted out of there, but I stayed.

This woman had no realization of her incredible blunder. The reason I know not to do something so inconsiderate is because I have the mother I have. She taught me not only this social norm, but also that other people don’t need to see my bra straps and that a thank you card should never thank someone generically for “their kind gift.” But apparently there was no one like my mom with her infinite wisdom in this lady’s life. I just pray she does not victimize other poor women with muffin tops.

No, this woman did not intentionally harm me and she probably didn’t even realize she could have. I understand that. And it probably helps that this has happened to me before– twice in Turkey. And there the humiliation was perpetuated by the fact that the Turkish women who made these inquiries did not accept my response (in Turkish) and would repeat themselves, and touch my tummy and mimic holding a baby. “No baby!” I shouted at one of them in frustration.

But this time was different. The old Lindsey would have taken this really personally. She probably would have skipped a few meals. She would have told all of her girlfriends in an effort to receive obligatory praise and compliments. She would have called her mommy and said bad things about this woman. She would have replayed the event over and over in her head and avoided the woman at all costs thereafter.

I didn’t do any of that. Instead, I told Brian and my close teacher friend at school. Brian was wonderful about it. And actually, I think he has a bigger role in this than I realized at the time. I’m not freaking out about this because this careless comment didn’t ruin me. I’m pretty accepting of myself and I think that’s a relatively recent development. Like, within married-time recent.

Brian tells me that I am beautiful every day. Every day. He literally never misses. And he usually says it multiple times in multiple ways. And I don’t receive his compliments well about half the time, but that never never stops him. I realized this week that his words have sunk in. I am beautiful. My husband tells me so and I believe him.

Brian saved telling me about this article until today. He wanted to be a safe distance from the “incident.” I laughed out loud. It’s wonderful. The graphic is my favorite part. Please people, unless you know FOR SURE, keep your mouth shut!

Crazy-blessed

We clebrated six months last week, so Saturday night, Brian took me to Uchiko.

Uchiko is one of our favorite places. It has amazing sushi and a wonderful atmosphere. It is also the place he took me on the night he proposed to me. I referred to it as returning to the scene of the crime.

We were adorable. We smiled and laughed and held hands. We talked about that night so long ago– how I knew what he was up to, how he had to wear a jacket in order to hide the ring box, the thoughts that were running through our heads. Then we talked about the last six months and how much our lives have changed. We kept telling the other that we loved them. Brian kept telling me how beautiful I am.

On Sunday, I could feel the effects of our date. We needed a night like that– a night to reconnect and remember. Even though we only left the house for church yesterday, we were so in love as I did housework and he studied. We were swoony and smitten and probably gross in the eyes of cynics– good thing none of those live in our house.

I love my husband. I have loved the past six months. I can’t wait for the years and years ahead. We are some crazy-blessed people.

A rose by any other name

I was joking with two teachers about names today. We were making both of their names sound a little ghetto. A little street. Tough. You know, because that’s so necessary where we teach… ;-)

Anyways, at one point, they turned to me. They toyed with my first name. It didn’t work. No matter what you emphasized or how you said it, I didn’t sound like a thug. Nope. Sad.

Then they turned to my last name.

My last name still seems new to me. And in my new workplace, they only know my new name. I’m getting used to it. I can tell because I’ve only slipped up once when speaking about myself in the third person (something I do often in the classroom). Don’t judge– it’s effective for think-alouds.

So they said it. Then they said it again. And you know what? My last name really didn’t sound ghetto at all. Nope. Not in the least.

Then suddenly, one of them turned to me and said that my last name was cool. I smiled. I thought about it. You know what? My name– first or last– will never sound ghetto or tough or anything even close to that realm. But as for the cool part, I would definitely have to agree :)