His and Hers Advice for Wedding Planning

Well, by now the wedding is over and we are off on the honeymoon enjoying a well-deserved rest. At least, I hope so. We are writing posts this week ahead of time to publish while we are busy doing a whole lot of nothing… in Jamaica. Woohoo!

One of the things that we decided early on to write about is the “how” of putting togther a wedding and what we have learned. Hopefully, you will find something here that is useful (or maybe funny if you are already on the other side). So, here are our thoughts on the whole process, from both a His and Hers point-of-view.

Hers:

  • I thought the people who told us to jump on a plane and get married on a beach were either insane or over-exaggerating. They weren’t. Buy two plane tickets and get married on beach in a J.Crew sundress. If you’re not convinced, you can read on, but I urge you to consider the beach. Really.
  • Budget first. We didn’t. We dove in, then budgeted. Budget first and stick to it.
  • Be honest. Be honest about finances, what’s important, and what you want.
  • Go through a serious pre-marital counseling program. The one we did through our church, Austin Stone, was great. I’m so glad that we did it, because otherwise, all focus would have been on the wedding day and I would have had no clue what to do the day after.
  • For the DIY girls: If you want to be a DIY-er that is great and admirable and all, but it really only works if you don’t have a full-time job. I was ambitious and consequently, a bit foolish. Ask for help, get a coordinator, or don’t worry about so many freakin’ details– you’re the only one who is going to notice them anyways! (Note: I’m very proud of my decor and theme and could not have followed my own advice on this one.)
  • Use mine. Use my venue, photographer, florist, bakery, and caterers. Seriously. You’ll be SO happy with these incredible people and you will have a beautiful day!
  • Etsy, Pinterest, Goodwill, and vintage stores are your best friends. And then use your decor to spruce up your new home 🙂
  • Keep this as your mantraAt the end of the day, we will be married. So when it rains, repeat the mantra. When your decor falls apart, repeat your mantra. When there is a major catastrophe and you’re at your whits end, repeat your mantra. Repeat your mantra. Repeat your mantra. 

His:

  • Don’t do it. I’m serious. Don’t do the whole big wedding thing. It’s fun to throw a big party, and it’s great to have your loved ones there, but it’s just not worth the money, the time, or the frustration. I’ll post about the evil wedding industry later, but to suffice it to say… I’m not a fan.
  • Spend just as much time preparing for the marriage as you do for the wedding. They are NOT the same thing.
  • If you do have to have a big wedding, I have two words: Budget and Priorities. Your budget needs to be set first and each line-item needs to be driven by your priorities.
  • Trust me, you cannot underestimate how much a wedding means to a girl and her mother. Even if the plan is to be small and intimate, trust me do not treat anything lightly.
  • The only things you will have a month after the wedding are the pictures and the dress. Everything else will be in a landfill somewhere.
  • Lighten up and have fun. You only do this once, so enjoy it!
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4 thoughts on “His and Hers Advice for Wedding Planning

  1. ….you also have the memories! You guys may have gone over budget and been really stressed out, but it was a very lovely wedding indeed. The theme and decor was beautiful and inspiring. I loved the venue. Jacki ,unfortunately, was unable to attend, so I took tons of pictures to show her. You may have some regrets now, but I think it was a beautiful way to start off your marriage…with all of your loved ones in tow. Have a happy honeymoon!

    -Jen

  2. Lindsey you did such a fabulous job putting this wedding together! I was thinking about a couple of sweet wedding planners I know who would have been blown away by all of your details and thoughtfulness. Brian, I love how seriously you took everything knowing how important it all was to your sweet wife. I loved having a groom ask “So can I get an photo album of just Lindsey’s bridal portraits?”

    If this wedding was any evidence of how well you two will do together, kick back and relax. You will do well!

  3. I wasn’t there, but I bet it was beautiful!
    I got married in a courthouse in Arizona in 2007 in a blue cocktail dress.
    I regret it immensely, but it helps a little to see so many people say the big wedding just isn’t worth it 🙂 The thing I miss most is nobody being there to celebrate with me, I think.
    Anyway.
    I look forward to taking this journey with you. I’m still learning, and we’re 5 years in!
    Have a great honeymoon!

    TFJ
    – Angela

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