My hero

I was a sleepy-head this morning. We went to a wedding last night and then to ice cream and then attempted to watch our Sunday shows on the couch, though I didn’t quite make it through one. It was tough to get up this morning, a natural consequence of dancing the night away. And worth it šŸ˜‰

But zombie-Lindsey wasn’t paying much attention when she walked out of the house this morning. She remembered the purse, the lunch box, the graded papers, and the coffee, but she forgot the salad dressing and the wallet. The wallet was still in last night’s clutch, as a woman MUST carry a cute clutch to compliment the cute dress. But that same woman needs to put the wallet back in the everyday purse or there are problems… which brings me to the part of the day where I arrived at work, an hour (without traffic) from home, with no wallet and an almost empty gas tank.

I called Brian. I had several creative solutions for getting home, but he insisted that coming out here during the day and bringing me my wallet was the best solution. When we looked at pros and cons, it really was the best solution, but I HATED the thought of him taking two hours out of his day to drive down here and back because of my mistake. I really hate putting people out. But again, he insisted. He wanted to do this thing for me, and it was driving me crazy.

He asked me, “If the situation was reversed, would you see it as a hassle to bring me my wallet?”

Of course, not. I love taking care of my man. It brings me so much joy to know I’ve done something, not matter how small, to make his life better, happier, easier, or more enjoyable.

“See?!” he replied.

Why do I have a problem with him wanting to take care of me? Is it because I’m self-suffifcient and can do things on my own? Is it because I don’t want to “owe” him anything?

I got a text a couple hours later that my wallet was back in my car. As a teacher, I can’t exactly leave my kiddos unsupervised and run out to plant a huge kiss on my hero’s face, though I desperately wanted to. But now I have my ID, I have my wallet, and I can buy gas after school today and make it all the way home… thanks to my husband.

I need to trust that my husband isn’t making a mental tally mark in the “Lindsey Owes Me” column every time he does something nice.Ā I need to let him cook me dinner and run errands for me and even make a two hour trip because of my absentmindedness.

I need to be grateful instead of hesitant.

I need say thank you instead of trying to do everything myself.

And I need to learn to let him love me.

3 thoughts on “My hero

  1. A few years ago, someone taught me a very good lesson. When we’ve been single longer than the “average” person, we tend to become very self-sufficient. I LOVE serving others!!! I love being able to help people, to make them dinner, to pick up the lunch tab, or whatever I can think of that will make their life easier. I didn’t so much want them to help me. It made me feel weak and I wasn’t weak!!! I don’t need anyone to help me! I CAN DO ANYTHING! šŸ™‚ Then someone explained to me that I was taking their blessing of serving me away b/c of pride. You see, I love serving others and extending grace to people in need. I need to allow other people to serve me. To extend grace to me! When I looked at it as letting someone serve me (a member of the Body), then it gave me new perspective. It wasn’t because I was weak, but I was allowing them to be blessed through their sevice.

    Its the same with our spouses. Them helping us isn’t a sign of weakness. Its how God intended marriage to work. We serve each other. We put each others’ needs before our own. Of course, you would have done the same thing for Brian. You have to allow him to serve you too. Be careful that you don’t take away each others opportunity to serve and extend grace! šŸ™‚

    AND.. look at it this way. If you’re like me, you wanted someone to walk through life with. Now you can say, “I am so thankful that I have someone that CAN bring my wallet to me.” When you were single you might not have had that option. šŸ™‚ God is so good!!!

    • You know Beth, it’s been interesting to see Lindsey and I start to integrate our lives over the last month or so. Lindsey may struggle with what she describes above, but I’ve had a different struggle.

      I did not realize the amount of adjustment it would take for me to have her move into the house. In fact, before hand I would have told you that there would be none needed. I was wrong.

      Having my own private space where I didn’t have to make compromises for 10 years has made it hard for me to, well, compromise. I’m working on it, but it’s so hard I haven’t even really given her full control yet. But I will.

  2. Brian, I had the same issue! I thought it would be so “fun” to move in with my husband! Its something I dreamed about forever and I romanticized it in my head. The first 3 months were HARD! I felt like I gave up everything!!!! My space, my house that I had bought, all the decorating I had done (I’m sure this didn’t bother you. ha!), my furniture, etc. I moved into his house, with his furniture, stuff, and if you read my comment on another post you would have read that I didn’t have a closet for almost a year. There were a few days that I just wanted to go back to my house, lay on my couch and watch my TV, by myself! I know it sounds horrible! However, it got better. If I can encourage you in any way, trust me, it gets better! I LOVE being married! I LOVE sharing space! I’ve had a few moments that made me appreciate single-life (not want to return, but APPRECIATE greatly what I had a season of), but 99% of our small 2.5 years married, its been amazing! You’ll get there. You’ll adapt to this new “normal”. Ken and I still have to make time to do our own thing, but its really good b/c it really makes us appreciate coming back to each other. He’s my best friend! I LOVE doing life with him and want to share every experience with him. But, for both of us b/c we were both very independent before, we function better for each other when I can have a girls night and give him the house for a few hours. I even do girls weekend with my best friend and he gets the house for the weekend. Just some thoughts. Hang in there…you’re not weird or abnormal. Its an adjustment!

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