I was on Google Chat today talking to my cousin, Mara. She asked me how things had been going, and my response was “tough but wonderful.”
Things have been tough.
Moving is tough. I’m still not finished. And it is difficult to move two houses worth of stuff into one house worth of space. There are boxes and piles and hidden junk everywhere. Things have to be thrown out. Decisions have to be made about what to keep, how to organize, whose artwork gets to hang on the wall and whose goes into the attic. And how in the world am I supposed to decorate with a bright orange, plastic stadium chair? But we’ve done it. We’re still working, but we’ve compromised, carried heavy loads, and organized to the best of our current capabilities.
Going to the hematologist is tough. He’s located in the Texas Oncology building and that makes the trips a little scary. I’ve already been told that I’m clear of the “C” word but sitting in that waiting room is heart-wrenching at times. And I never know what the doctor will say– levels are up, levels are down, get a biopsy, give yourself this injection… But we’ve done it. Brian and I have done it. We go, we sit, we wait, and we walk out together. We do all of it together except my injections– my husband does NOT do needles. And the doctor says I’m good now, but even if I weren’t, I know that I can go through any medical issue with Brian by my side.
My commute has been tough. Sometimes it’s two hours getting home. It sucks. I just sit there on MoPac thinking about everything else I’d rather be doing. But when I walk in the door and my husband hands me a glass of wine and has crafted a delicious home-made meal, things get better. Brian will prep the coffee-maker to go off in the morning so that even though he’s not up that early, there’s a little love brewing when I wake up. The commute stinks, but we’ve made it work.
Work has been tough. I have been out a lot this year and my absence has caused some problems. It’s also just that time of year– state tests, kids that don’t want to be here, and the slow slump into summer. I’m stressed– always needing to grade something (it never ends…), constantly worried that my kids aren’t prepared or that one is going to fail, worried that I’m letting a coworker down or about a relationship at work. This one has been tough for Brian. I get all up in my head and sit and am not much fun to be around. But he prays for me and with me. He offers up solutions and, most importantly, holds my hand and cheers me on. We’ve done it.
So, yeah, it’s been tough. I’m always behind, always tired, and always running through my mental to-do list. And still, the last 5 weeks have been incredible.
Mara said it best when we were chatting– “The best part about being married is you have someone to go through all the tough times with you!”
She’s speaking from experience. Mara married my cousin, James, in October. And they’ve had their own share of tough times. Everyone does. Tough times are an equal-opportunity aggressor. But now that I’m married, I have this whole new approach to struggles: we do it together.
But we can’t take all the credit for making it through. In fact, I take none at all and I’m sure my husband would feel the same. Though it is such a blessing to have my husband with me through all of this tough stuff, Brian and I entered into a covenant relationship with God. It’s the three of us now. And though we’ve helped to carry each others’ loads, we couldn’t do it without God giving us the patience to deal with one another’s moods. We would not have gotten through if God had not given us the love to bless each other and forgive each other constantly. God had to give us the desire to serve one another and we had to be obedient to pray for the other and together.
“And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” -Ecclesiastes 4:12
We do it together. Just the three of us.