My wife is the consummate hostess. She excels at making our home welcoming for our guests and at making it easy to be hosts. I love her gift of hospitality.
Part of this gift is her desire for me to be able to interact with our guests and not have to worry about the house or about details. She’s quite happy to be in the kitchen cleaning up after a meal and shoo me out to go entertain our guests. This is a great thing for me, right?
Except I have a hard time believing it. My wife and I are wired so differently that I don’t understand her sometimes. I wouldn’t be happy scrubbing dishes and cleaning up after everyone else. But she tells me she is. I ask her constantly, “Are you sure?” She always replies with a “yes,” and after the fifth time she starts to look at me like I’m a bit dense.
It’s a tricky thing, adjusting to life with a spouse. It seems an easy thing to do when the spouse is merely theoretical, when all you see when you here the word ‘wife’ is your own take on a Platonic ideal. But, when she’s an actual whole person with her own quirks and preferences, things can get a bit murky. And around here a murky view of this yields a lot of, “Are you sure?”
I must learn to trust her. To trust that if she wants help she will ask for it. To trust that when she enjoys something that I see as drudgery she is not lying to me. To trust my wife when she bucks the trends or expectations of others because she’s just wired that way. I must learn to not doubt her.