Feedback

He really does stare at me when I’m reading his work. He even takes pictures…

He tells me he wants my honest feedback.

Really? Does he really want my honest feedback?

This has come up a lot in marriage, in multiple facets. Today it came up with his writing, but in the past it has been on his leadership, the way he serves me, his role as a husband– some pretty major stuff. I think Brian really does want honest feedback from me. The good and the bad.

I read something Brian has been working on today as he sat there anxiously awaiting feedback. Seriously. He was staring at me. His biggest pet peeve in this situation is for me to reply that I like it, so I knew better than to lead with that… even though I did.

After all of my questions and clarifications and comments, Brian asked for the bad stuff. I didn’t have any. He didn’t believe me.

But there have been other times I did have feedback that was negative and I was too afraid to share it. I have come to understand that Brian really does want to hear it. He wants to take it, ponder on it, make changes, and move forward. Always forward thinking– that’s my husband.

He’s right, though. I do need to be honest and I can’t hesitate to share negative feedback. How else can we grow if we don’t know the areas that need it? I need to learn to trust my husband that he really does want to hear what I have to say– good or bad. And my husband needs to learn that there isn’t always a bad 😉

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One thought on “Feedback

  1. It’s a very interesting contrast in our personalities. I love to receive feedback, both critical and positive, on what I am working on. Even if it stings, I know it is how I get better. That is the clearest lesson my career has taught me after 10 years. If you don’t know the negative, you can never fix it.

    Lindsey operates a bit differently. It’s not that she does want to know what to work on, but she is just more sensitive about the timing, delivery, and the need for it. I’m a glutton for feedback, she likes it more sparingly, and with a considerable amount of tact on the side.

    So, yes honey, I want honest responses to my work and how I am doing. I need it.

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