Why I don’t recommend marriage

On March 10th everything changed, and Brian became my husband. It’s been amazing. I love being married. So, logically it would follow that I would recommend marriage to a single person. I would not.

Here is what I would recommend…

Marriage is incredible and incredibly difficult. You need to find someone you can share your “crazy” with. If you don’t know what that means, then you don’t know yourself very well. We’ve all got it (though, some hide it and some where it on their shirtsleeve). You need to be okay with their crazy, and they need to be okay with your crazy.

Once you see that it’s a crazy that you can live with, then you need to make sure– darn sure– that this is the person you want to argue with for the rest of your life. Gasp! You argue in marriage?! Yes, dear ones, you argue. You argue, you disagree, and you get frustrated.

Once you have found crazy that works for you and decided you can argue with this person until you’re 80, then you should make sure that they understand marriage is for life– like, really truly understand that it is for life. Husband has a mid-life crisis– you stick with him. Wife cheats on husband– you stick with her. You decide you are no longer “attracted” to this person and just don’t “feel connected”– you stick with them.

I would really like to whole-heartedly recommend marriage to my friends, but after being in it– even just this short amount of time– I can see that this would be wretchedly difficult and nearly impossible if Brian and I weren’t confident with the three things I just mentioned.    So, I don’t recommend marriage, but instead, I recommend waiting for a partner that you really want for life– for good, for bad, and for crazy.

I can deal with his “crazy”, I can argue with him for life, and we’re in it forever. I recommend one of these.

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