After a week at work that consisted of almost nothing but writing I wanted to relax today– by writing. I know, that may sound crazy, but there is a big difference between writing about technology and organizations and writing for fun. One is for fun and no money, the other is not so fun1 but pays.
So the bulk of our day was spent apart from each other. I have a project I’m working on that I hope sees the light of day soon, and Lindsey had a pedicure/lunch/shopping date with our good friend Laura2. It was nice to have the house to myself and make progress on my project and I know Lindsey appreciated her time with Laura.
We finished out the day with a date night, dinner and dessert at Chez Zee and great local beer at the Black Star Co-op. What a way to end a day.
But driving home I got to thinking, today was very symbolic of what life as a married couple seems to be like– for the guy who has been married 4 months. You are joined together as one, but you are still individuals who have their own pursuits. This is good for us.
If Lindsey was sitting on the couch in my office I’d never get anything done. If she drug me out for her girlie afternoon with Laura there would be three unhappy people by the end of it. In the end we came together, spent time alone, debriefed, and shared some great food.
We’re in this together for life, and that means sharing so much of yourself that it hurts at times. But it also means understanding that there are two people becoming one in a marriage. Just as a healthy marriage cannot be treated simply like two completely separate people joined together for mutual interest, it also cannot be treated as an attempt to live a completely conjoined life every minute of every day.
This is a mystery honestly, the Bible even states the nature of marriage is such. We’ll keep learning though, it’s the only way to grow into it.