Same song, second verse (or fourth…)

Monday, I posted on here about meal planning and asked you all for your help and wisdom.

Tuesday, I got some incredible tips on furniture shopping from my friend Kari. I’ve been shopping for furniture all summer (with no luck!) and it had never occurred to me to ask others for insight and advice.

Tuesday evening, I posted on here about realizing that asking Brian for help isn’t nagging– it’s necessary.

Anyone noticing a theme?

I’m not always the quickest to realize things. I often tell people that God has to resort to using the “holy two-by-four” on me because I rarely hear any of the whispers or feel the nudges. I’m starting to wonder how long this whole asking-people-for-help thing has been staring me in the face and I’ve walked past it, struggling in my solitude.

Ironically, when I worked for the UT Learning Center, I would begin my public speaking sessions by informing the crowd that the number one characteristic of successful people is help-seeking behavior– knowing when and how to ask for help.

Like I said yesterday, I’m not so good at asking for help. I love to help others, but when it comes to needing it myself, I don’t want to put anyone out, to seem needy, or look like I can’t handle things. But you ladies who commented Monday helped me, Kari helped me, and Brian helps me all the time. And everyone did it gladly (or at least voluntarily ;-)).

I need the help of those who have gone before me, those with wisdom and experience, and those that see me regularly enough to know what’s going on with me. I also need the help of the man who married me. I could try to do this on my own, but the overwhelming evidence here points to much more success if I don’t.

1 thought on “Same song, second verse (or fourth…)

  1. I’ve always had the same problem. Mine was mainly b/c I felt like I didn’t need help. That I was strong enough to do it on my own (and if I can do it on my own, I don’t want to “bug” anyone). Then someone explained it to me this way. If I love to give, help and serve others so much, why would I deny another person from extending grace to me? I would I deny someone else in the Body to serve? They want to serve others just like I do. I was so convicted! I’m still not good at letting others serve or help me, but I keep that close to my heart and mind so that I remember that I need to allow others (friends, family, HUSBAND) to serve me b/c they are blessed through it!

    You’re doing great! Learning to ask for help in the beginning of your marriage is so important. I’ve had to do it as well. I’m thankful I learned it early, like you are, b/c I see so many of my friends that get frustrated/angry/resentful b/c their husbands won’t help get the kids ready for church, won’t help them pick up the house, won’t help with bath time…I try to encourage them to just ask! I know we, as women, think that our husbands should just SEE that we need help and DO IT….but what my husband gently taught me was that sometimes I get mad if he helps me b/c I want to serve him. He finally explained that he didn’t know what mood I was in, so he didn’t know what to do. haha! SO…its so important for us to just ASK! They can’t read our minds!!! It saves so much emotional stress! 🙂

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