Learning not to compromise

I don’t like crafty stuff. I don’t like to join the ‘treasure hunts’ that Lindsey loves. I just flat out don’t understand some of the stuff she likes.

Lindsey does not like sports. She doesn’t really like football, except for the parties that go with it. She doesn’t understand the sports world that I have inhabited for as long as I can remember.

So today, we had a great day by not compromising.

We didn’t bargain about what to do today, we didn’t try to strike an even balance on how much time we would spend on what. For the first time, and in a kind of explainable way, we planned to spend a few hours on what she wanted to do, and then time on my big event of the day. It just happened, I wanted to be with her and she wanted to be with me.

We got up and wend to the Christmas Renegade Craft Fair, an indie craft fair1, that we’ve been to before and is not as bad as it sounds. It’s not a bad time, and we found some cool stuff today.

I honestly wouldn’t want to spend a fall morning at any craft fair, cool or not. But this week when Lindsey suggested it something new happened. I looked at her and thought, “she’d love to do it.” So I said yes. I said it easily, and without a doubt. It ended up being a very good morning.

Then, this afternoon Lindsey hung out with me during the OSU football game. We played that team from Norman, and I get very amped up for this game every year. She doesn’t love football, but tolerates it for me. She doesn’t love me lecturing the referees  on their mistakes, or my passionate pleading with our coaching staff. But today, she found a project to work on and hung out with me the whole time. She cheered for my Cowboys, made good comments when she picked up on something, and pretended to really, really care at all the right times. I loved it.

Today we did not make deals. We did not barter time back and forth, and no one tried to get their own way. We were able to spend time with each other, doing what each other likes best. I can’t describe why it didn’t feel like a compromise other than to say this: I got what I wanted, a whole day with my wife.

See? No compromises.


  1. (I don’t even know what that means. Are there big corporate craft fairs out there? I don’t know, it’s not my world.
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2 thoughts on “Learning not to compromise

  1. Pingback: Five days off | Our First Year

  2. Pingback: Five days off | Our First Year

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