Out of whack and minor victories

I don’t feel well, and if I’m honest, I haven’t in a couple of weeks.

I don’t handle not feeling well very well either. Here’s my method: I decide that rather than feel bad, I will ignore it and continue on with life until it goes away. I mean, when you think about it– I have my vision, hearing, voice, appendages, phalanges, and relative health– so why whine about some minor pains or fatigue when some people have actual health issues and/or maladies. I shrug it off and trudge forward.

That is, until I can’t.

And I hate it when I can’t.

I don’t know if I’m ill or if my blood is out of whack again. I keep trying to do things and I just don’t have the energy to do them. Sometimes my brain is affected by this fatigue as well. And then there’s the low body temperature I keep having. Ugh.

PS– Don’t plug your symptoms into WebMD… ever! That site will convince you that you’re dying. A better remedy is to seek actual medical care, which I’m doing tomorrow.

I’m frustrated and discouraged, but I need to remember that seeing the hematologist is a good thing– he made me feel better before ūüôā

On a more positive note, I’ve had some minor victories in the past couple of days in spite of ¬†not feeling well. Victory #1: I finally got every single wedding gift OUT of the dining room! No longer are there gifts in piles lining the walls. It only took me 11 months… Victory #2: I got the downstairs looking respectable for the first time in a few months– and we can potentially invite people into our home once again without being mortified! Woohoo! I know these two things don’t resonate the same way for any of you, but in this newlywed’s life– they’re pretty, stinkin’ awesome!

Here’s a peek at my favorite new thing in my dining room– so cute!!!

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Rest

Lindsey and I have been talking a lot about rest over the last few weeks. Why, you ask? Because we don’t do it well.

Let me explain. We have been talking about what it means to rest well, and how neither of us feel like we can do so. Lindsey tends to not stop moving. There is always something else that needs to be done, and pausing to rest before the list is finished is not an option. On the other hand, I don’t want to do anything. When I finally get a day or weekend with no work and no commitments I want to be lazy– and I mean LAZY. Down deep all I want to do is eat, nap, watch TV, and read a book. Preferably for a whole day.

Hopefully you see the error in both of our ways. Given our choices, Lindsey simply won’t rest until she drives herself into the ground, and I wouldn’t lift a finger– or even get out of bed.

That is not what rest is designed for, it’s not what our bodies and minds were designed for. Both of us are rebelling against what we were made for when we behave this way. We are slowly realizing this, because living with someone with the opposite disposition helps open your eyes quite a bit.

So over the next few weeks we hope to approach our weekends differently. We hope to meet in the middle a bit more. We hope that we can learn to rest well.

My sick family

Apparently, I’m the only healthy one left in my little family. Feels like survival of the fittest. The smallest was the first to fall… and then the proudest. Mwahahaha!

But seriously, Lola is doing much better. No more projectile anything (thank GOD!) but she’s still not quite herself– she still needs meds, weird food, and a towel underneath her when she sleeps. Her limp just breaks my heart, but she will heal.

My husband, on the other hand, acts like he’s on death’s doorstep. Actually, that’s not true– he alternates. He’s on death’s doorstep, and then he’s giddy like a schoolgirl. I think it’s when he’s high on the multitude of meds he insists on taking. He has this hydrogen bomb analogy when I talk to him about the amount of meds he’s putting into his body. He keeps whispering something about “scorched earth”. It’s weird over here right now.

Needless to say, Mommy has a glass of wine right now while caring for her¬†beleaguered crew, especially after the day with the munchkins she just had. Great. Now she’s talking about herself in the third person. Maybe she should lay off the wine…

Everyone will be fine. Lola will heal and stop needing to lay on towels and Brian will realize that a cold is not the same as the Grim Reaper, and normalcy shall return.

Since I’ve mocked him relentlessly in these few paragraphs, I should say that Brian really is ill. He’s just not the best patient– and he knows that. But it turns out, he’s a very good caretaker. So, when he heals and I catch whatever he has, I know I’ll be in good (and less sarcastic) hands ūüėČ

Say a prayer for the Lundin¬†household¬†tonight– I’d appreciate it.

My words don’t work all the time

My words don’t work all the time.

I know, it shocked me too. My entire life I have relied on my words. I’ve used my words to convince, to sell, to lie, to win arguments, and occasionally for good. But I have always relied on them, and they have almost always worked. But being married is different.

It turns out, sometimes a wife just wants you to be there. Sometimes, and this is really¬†surprising¬†I know, they don’t want your questions, answers or opinions. Sometimes they just want you to hold them. To listen. To shut up.

I’m a slow learner, but I think I am starting to learn this lesson. One day, I may even remember it when Lindsey needs it– and without a reminder.

Well, that happened

This was our night, the picture above.

Lindsey was really tired, again, and was going to have dinner with the ladies in our community group at a friend’s house nearby. I dropped her off with the intent of picking her up later, and everything went according to plan. Until I picked her up.

I took her car to go get her, and after I¬†visited¬†with the girls we went back outside and her car wouldn’t start. Awesome.

We called her insurance¬†company, got a tow, dropped it off at the shop, and came home. I’ll deal with it in the morning, from the golf course.

Because that’s right, I’m getting up in 5.5 hours to go play in a charity tournament. So, yay sleep…

However, there is two great bright spots, our friends. Laura helped us with unsuccessful attempts to jumpstart the car. Our friend Abby was able to drive Lindsey home so she could get a good bit of sleep while I dealt with the car stuff. Our friend Corbin is going out of his way to give me a ride in the morning so Lindsey can have a car. This would have been so much tougher without them.

So here we are, posting this a few minutes late. Oops, it’s been a rough night. I still think this counts.

“It’s the same thing…”

Lindsey looked at me, semi-exasperated. “It’s just the same thing all over, ‘We’re really busy. School is about to start. We’re really stressed.’ There’s nothing new.”

She’s right.

We were talking about tonight’s blog post. We’ve reached almost five months of marriage and we are starting to see how not every day is some exotic or unique challenge. But that’s okay, that is real life.

Of course this brings up a different challenge for us than most folks, as we have this ‘blog every day’ commitment. So, after a run of days like we have had this boredom, good, normal, and stable boredom, means that there is just not a lot to say sometimes.

So, friends, family, and the other folks out there following us, let me take this opportunity to thank you for hanging with us over the last week. We appreciate it and we will have some more exciting stuff coming soon.

The answer-to-prayer day

Last Thursday was a big day: job interview, hematologist appointment, job interview.

I wanted to post about it. I really did. But decisions needed to be made and certain people made aware of those decisions before it would have been appropriate to tell the entire interweb.

Here’s the short version: I got both jobs and great news from the hematologist. It was an answer-to-prayer day of the utmost. I’m still healthy, and the plan my doctor put me on before seems to be the right track. His diagnosis is most¬†likely¬†correct. I have to be monitored still, but not as frequently. And he told us we need to talk to him before we plan to get pregnant (sorry that wasn’t the big news, Mom ;-)). It was a super-quick visit and Brian and I were in and out in record time.

And now for the job news… I’ve been applying for teaching jobs closer to home all summer. And though public school would have been fine, what I really felt called to do was to move to a private Christian school. Up until last week, I’d had one interview that didn’t really go so well. And then Tuesday, I got a call. Then Wednesday, I got another. That’s how the two-interview-in-one-day thing happened.

I’ll give you the details on the coolest interview ever tomorrow– it’s a story in and unto itself. But, I will say here that I took a job with a small private classical Christian school here in Cedar Park. God is magnificent and has provided for me in ways big, small, known, unknown, and everything in between. I’m elated.

And I had to hit the ground running. Summer ended a week early and I’m way behind everyone else. There’s so much to do– and it’s all overwhelming and exciting and overwhelmingly exciting.