I still don’t believe it

My wife is the consummate hostess. She excels at making our home welcoming for our guests and at making it easy to be hosts. I love her gift of hospitality.

Part of this gift is her desire for me to be able to interact with our guests and not have to worry about the house or about details. She’s quite happy to be in the kitchen cleaning up after a meal and shoo me out to go entertain our guests. This is a great thing for me, right?

Except I have a hard time believing it. My wife and I are wired so differently that I don’t understand her sometimes. I wouldn’t be happy scrubbing dishes and cleaning up after everyone else. But she tells me she is. I ask her constantly, “Are you sure?” She always replies with a “yes,” and after the fifth time she starts to look at me like I’m a bit dense.

It’s a tricky thing, adjusting to life with a spouse. It seems an easy thing to do when the spouse is merely theoretical, when all you see when you here the word ‘wife’ is your own take on a Platonic ideal. But, when she’s an actual whole person with her own quirks and preferences, things can get a bit murky. And around here a murky view of this yields a lot of, “Are you sure?”

I must learn to trust her. To trust that if she wants help she will ask for it. To trust that when she enjoys something that I see as drudgery she is not lying to me. To trust my wife when she bucks the trends or expectations of others because she’s just wired that way. I must learn to not doubt her.

Out on the golf course

We have house guests. We have our first house guests as a married couple. This is a yearly event in Brian’s life, and now it is one in mine– when Justin and Monica come for Memorial Day weekend. It’s been wonderful.

Today, we played golf. Well, my husband and our guests played golf. I was along for the conversation and sunshine. It was my first time on a golf course. I learned a lot. Here’s the short list of today’s observations:

  1. There’s alcohol on a golf course. In fact, someone drives around selling it to the players.
  2. Golf seems really relaxing. We got to talk all day and drive around in fun little carts. Note: this is the girl who didn’t do anything!
  3. Driving a golf cart is highly amusing. Putting the pedal to the floor is encouraged.
  4. Sand traps suck.
  5. The water features are pretty, but suck.
  6. Everything inside of me wants my husband to succeed at everything he attempts. I’m his proudest cheerleader.
  7. A day outside with friends is relaxing, exhausting, and pretty wonderful.

Go Brian, go!!!

I loved driving this thing!

Brian got on the green of this par 5 in two shots– woohoo!!!

Our dear friends and first house guests, Monica and Justin