A point of contention

This blog is, many times, a point of contention. Are you blogging tonight? No, I blogged the past three nights. That’s not true, I blogged on…

As if newlyweds needed anything else to try to figure out in their first year.

But on Sunday, when Brian and I wished each other a Happy 11 Months, the first thing out of his mouth following that was, “One more month of the blog!”

It’s been good to write. And it’s actually been a good thing to have something force you to write. But writing EVERY day— that’s been a challenge. And with the crazy schedules we talk about all the time on here, it’s been even more of one. I won’t lie– there have been fights that started from a conversation about the blog. I don’t think they were ever explicitly about the blog, but nevertheless, mentioning the blog in this house can cause some real tension.

But I know I’ll miss it. I already told Brian that I want to have my own blog for teaching and crafting and vintage adventures. He suggested that I do that on here, though I don’t think this is the right place for that. This is the place we chronicled the first entire year of man and wife, not the place for my next Pinterest project. (Though, on a side note, we made some delicious low-fat chicken taco chili from a Pinterest pin on Monday– awesome!)

It will be nice, though, not to have to check my phone first thing in the morning when it was Brian’s night to do the blog and he hadn’t gotten to it when I went to bed, just to make sure he posted. I will be nice to not be constantly keeping a mental note of how many times I have posted in a given week to use as leverage, or to have expectations for my spouse to volunteer to post– expectations that I never verbalized but undoubtedly got upset with him for failing to meet. It will be nice.

Less than a month now. I think we can handle that. Thanks for hanging with us for the past 11 months 🙂

The badass

Wow– to look at our blog for the past three days, you’d think all we talk about is food! And Brian didn’t even mention the banana bread I baked yesterday 😉

I just wanted to share a humorous incident that keeps making me giggle. I have prior approval from my dear, sweet husband to post this.

We were in the bathroom this weekend both getting ready. I was applying my mascara as Brian was admiring himself in the mirror. He spoke the following words: “I (pause) am a badass.”

That, in and of itself, is not the humorous portion of this story. Living with each other and loving each other has created very healthy self-esteems in the Lundin household, so much so that commentary such as this is somewhat commonplace.

No, no– the humor here lies in what immediately followed his remarks. For not two seconds later, the badass accidentally rammed his hand into the bathroom wall and let out a wail that a passerby would not only have assuredly heard outside, but would also have undoubtedly determined that I beat my husband.

(I do not. His pride does it for me 😉 )

I fell forward on the counter laughing, smearing mascara first across my face, and then the mirror. I wanted to check on my husband– to make sure the injury was not life threatening– but I could not. Belly against the granite countertop, face against the mirror, I laughed until my stomach hurt. Only then was I able to recover and see how the badass had fared…

Thank God– Brian was laughing, too!

Happy Birthday, Brian!

What. A. Day.

It all began early this morning, when I got up to make breakfast. It had to be early– we both had an all day retreat to get to and a friend to pick up on the way. The Pioneer Woman taught me to make biscuits and gravy— Brian’s favorite. While I was whipping that up, I put out Brian’s birthday basket and cedar shoe valet. I also got my phone ready to play The Beatles “Birthday” when Brian came downstairs. I was having a blast jumping from the oven to the stove to the french press to setting the table. I was giddy for him to come downstairs and enjoy the fun.

Brian's birthday basket included homemade blueberry infused bourbon, simple syrup, a shoe shine kit, a monogrammed mint julep cup, and specialty beard oil-- I thought it had a "southern gentleman" feel :)

Brian’s birthday basket included homemade blueberry infused bourbon, simple syrup, a shoe shine kit, a monogrammed mint julep cup, and specialty beard oil– I thought it had a “southern gentleman” feel 🙂

Breakfast was fun, but fast! Brian enjoyed the food and coffee (my first gravy ever!), and we laughed and chatted as we got ready to leave.

Today’s retreat was all about Gospel Fluency and living that out. It was incredible. During the morning session breaks, I would run up to Brian and word vomit everything I was connecting with and convicted of from the first session. We both planned on napping when we got home, but the conversation that started in the car as we processed what we learned kept going when we entered the house. We talked for a couple of hours– confessing and sharing and marveling. During this, we did make mint juleps with the infused bourbon in Brian’s birthday gift and sipped as we talked– yum!

This is the bourbon I infused and a peek at the process

This is the bourbon I infused and a peek at the process

Brian wouldn’t let me do any housework on his birthday, so we read our novels together until it was time to leave for the movie. We saw ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ at Alamo. It was a looooooong movie, but very good. Brian liked it more than I did, but I was also freezing cold in the theater and nodding off during the very long, slow middle of the movie. In my defense, we went to a 9:40pm showing.

It was an awesome day– the first time I’ve been able to spoil my husband on his special day. I look forward to spoiling him over and over for the rest of our lives. Today was great– and I’m sure we’ll be sharing more of what we learned about at the retreat in an upcoming post.

Happy Birthday, Brian!!! I love you!!!

Cedar isn’t good for my marriage

Seething at cedar, angry at allergies, and pissed at pollen. Ugh!

Yes, yes– I’ve already told you all that we’re suffering from cedar fever. But it’s just that today I really began the suffering part. I had been tolerating the stuff for a week, controlling the situation with my tried and true regiment. But today, the game changed.

I’m a sniffling, sneezing, coughing, red-nosed, nasal-sounding, runny nosed, cranky mess. And I work with children. They handled me well, though my patience wore thin during the morning pledges.

Actually, the patience thing has been true at home for several days– for both of us. We’ve been quick to criticize, low on the grace, and apt towards anger all week. That’s not like us. I didn’t realize it until today.

When I get tired and worn out, I refer to my change in attitude as my “sugar coating wearing off”. My husband never does have a sugar coating. He’s blunt when he’s polite. But there’s his polite-blunt, his matter-of-fact-blunt, and his blunt-blunt. It’s been a blunt-blunt week.

We’ve had tiffs over some of the dumbest stuff, and we aren’t giving each other an inch. And I’m fairly certain the foggy heads, loads of meds, and lack of solid sleep deserve the blame. But cedar season has only just begun. We can’t keep this up– it’s no fun. I want my sweet marriage back!

So, pollen– here’s the deal: my husband and I are on the same team. You will NOT divide us. We are united against you– and we will annihilate you! You may have made some headway by causing a shortage of 24 hour Sudafed within a reasonable radius of my home… but I’m a Texas girl. And everyone knows you don’t mess with Texas!

(Starting to think all the meds are having an affect on my writing ability… hmm. Off to down some Nyquil, stuff some Kleenex plugs in my nose, and try to sleep… )

Bonus for you all

I’m rather peeved right now. I’m peeved because it’s my husband’s night to blog. It’s my husband’s night, he said he would do it, and after three hours of Women’s Development, I come home and he’s asleep. When I tell him to wake up and do the blog, he says he will, and in 30 seconds is snoring louder than he was when I woke him up.

Okay, let’s be honest– I’m actually pissed. I woke up long before him this morning and am now up long after him. I was on my feet all day, had an emotional evening (that I’d really like to talk to him about right now), but no– he decided to go to bed before his responsibilities were taken care of.

This is marriage, folks. I’m pissed at the snoring lump beside me. I want desperately to be asleep (since I have to wake up in six hours), but I’m so livid at my husband that unless I stop and pray and forgive him, I’ll just lay awake for another half hour thinking about how upset I am and potentially plotting against him.

I need God. I need God to help me to be the wife I committed to be even when my husband isn’t living up to who I think he should be or my expectations… or even when I’m tired and cranky and am wondering why in the word we committed to write every single day for this first year. On the upside– you don’t typically get to see this side of me– so there’s the bonus for you all. I am normal and I do get mad.

So, I’m signing off tonight upset, but with the knowledge I can’t stay this way. We posted the fruit of the Spirit in our home for a reason– those are our marriage goals. I’m pretty low on the love, patience, and kindness right now– and I am wrong for that. Brian takes care of me when I am worn out, so tonight, I should see this as my turn. I pray that I can see that.

How epic is this battle?

I love my husband, but he can be frustrating. One major frustration is that he claims he doesn’t hear me. I haven’t had any luck finding one of these in stores, but I’ll keep looking…

old time ear trumpets

But seriously, he’s too young to be losing his hearing. Personally, I think he’s distracted. He’s a perpetual multi-tasker. That’s nice for him, getting multiple things done at once, but nothing is getting his full attention… not even me. I often direct my anger at this member of our family when I can’t get his attention…

iphone-big

…though he insists he’s still listening. Tonight as he played on his iPhone while waiting for the movie to begin, I not-so-subtly asked when date night was. On date night, Brian’s phone is not invited. Don’t think he got the hint.

I keep hearing from other wives that their men develop selective hearing throughout marriage. I am hoping this is not the case, though Brian tends to hear all comments about food and technology and sex. Interesting. 

Sigh.

I guess I’m wondering if this is something we can work out, or if this is a battle we will fight until the end.

i-cant-hear-you_1

Visually impaired

I have bad eyes. I mean, they’re blue and lovely and all, but without my glasses, I can’t see anything. It’s bad.

I remember when we first noticed something was up with them. I had to get a physical to go to Girl Scout camp. I think I was in the third grade. They doctor told me to read the third line.

“The third line of what?” I asked.

“Of the eye chart.”

“What eye chart?”

No joke. When all you see is white blur at the end of the hallway, it’s bad.

When I walked outside of Sam’s Club with my first pair of overly large, super uncool glasses, the first thing I noticed was that trees had leaves. Who knew?

But now my glasses are a part of life– a part of me. It’s rare that you see me without them. This is why I made Brian come meet me at the eye doctor. If he has to look at my glasses more than I do, he really needs to like them.

When he got there, I had narrowed it down to 15 pairs. Really. I narrowed for quite some time. Brian watched me model all of them repeatedly. He narrowed, then I did. He did, then I did. He even pointed out small details on a couple of pairs that I had not noticed yet but would end up bugging me in some way– he gets me 🙂

Eventually, we ended on the second pair I picked up in my search. I’m excited to pick them up tomorrow. I’ve been in this pair for 6 years– yikes! But I’m even more excited to be married to a man that will drop everything to come help me make a decision about an accessory, a man that notices details, a man that knows my likes and dislikes, and a man that loves me in my dorky glasses.

I need to remember this tomorrow morning when Brian’s alarm is set to go off before mine and I will need to lovingly encourage him to get up… multiple times. Ahh, wedded bliss 🙂