Rest

Lindsey and I have been talking a lot about rest over the last few weeks. Why, you ask? Because we don’t do it well.

Let me explain. We have been talking about what it means to rest well, and how neither of us feel like we can do so. Lindsey tends to not stop moving. There is always something else that needs to be done, and pausing to rest before the list is finished is not an option. On the other hand, I don’t want to do anything. When I finally get a day or weekend with no work and no commitments I want to be lazy– and I mean LAZY. Down deep all I want to do is eat, nap, watch TV, and read a book. Preferably for a whole day.

Hopefully you see the error in both of our ways. Given our choices, Lindsey simply won’t rest until she drives herself into the ground, and I wouldn’t lift a finger– or even get out of bed.

That is not what rest is designed for, it’s not what our bodies and minds were designed for. Both of us are rebelling against what we were made for when we behave this way. We are slowly realizing this, because living with someone with the opposite disposition helps open your eyes quite a bit.

So over the next few weeks we hope to approach our weekends differently. We hope to meet in the middle a bit more. We hope that we can learn to rest well.

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Cedar fever!

It’s that time again– the time that all cedar-sensitive persons in central Texans dread. It’s cedar fever time. UGH!

2011 was the first year it ever affected me, which is crazy because I’ve lived in the area since I was thirteen years old. But apparently, that happens with cedar. I finally realized what all of these people for all of these years had been complaining about. It’s terrible: itchy eyes, constant runny nose, sneezing, headache, sinus issues for weeks!

My husband is also a victim of cedar. He’s been dealing with it since he moved to Austin, and it hits him hard. The cold front last night brought the cedar with it, and thus, my poor husband spent the entire day in bed.

Now, I’ve previously mentioned that Brian is not the best patient, but he was honestly very ill today. I brought him meds and checked in on him every now and then, but this stuff just knocked him out. So… I had a whole, big, quiet house to myself.

We made yesterday our Sabbath, so today, work needed to be done. I cleaned and scrubbed and mopped and organized. I ironed and folded and sorted. I made a PowerPoint lesson and notes for the kiddos. And I read 100 pages in my novel. It was beautiful!

Brian woke up and spent the evening with me. We ordered pizza and watched Downton Abbey. It was delightful. He seems to be feeling somewhat better, but I don’t want him to let his meds lapse. I’m hoping he’s functional for work tomorrow. He’ll be without a nurse 😉

 

Failure to rest

It’s not a resolution. It’s something that came up in a conversation with my WDP leaders at the end of the semester. And then God kept bringing it back up.

I don’t take a Sabbath. Yes, God tells us to. I get that. But I’m busy. In fact, I’m exceedingly busy. He gets that, right? Well, that’s what I kept telling myself anyway. But when someone pointed out that not taking a Sabbath was a sin, well, that didn’t sit real well with me.

It’s not a harsh thing to point out one another’s sins. We’re actually supposed to do that in Christian community. No one was pointing fingers or anything. Part of WDP is learning to fight sin– in our own lives as well as in the lives of those around us. It was actually in a conversation about my own self-righteousness that the whole Sabbath thing came up. While it isn’t finger pointing, I sure did feel ganged up against that night. But it was for my good.

And they were right. About both.

So, God kept bringing it back up, I began to have anxiety attacks due to negligent self care, and thusly, yesterday, I vowed to have a Sabbath.

I pretty much failed.

I cleaned house, did laundry, ironed, planned lessons, and cleaned my shower doors. The only Sabbath-like activities were reading a couple chapters in a book on prayer and going to church. Oh, and Downton Abbey— but that totally counts as rest 🙂

And then today at work when the other teachers were talking about how rested they were, how ready to teach and love these kiddos they felt, well, I realized that I wasn’t. When we prayed during morning devotion, I realized I had read about prayer, but I hadn’t actually done it. Sigh.

If we were perfect at everything, we wouldn’t need a Savior. I need him. I need God to keep showing me that I was designed for a day of rest. I need him to remind me that he and I are in a relationship and relationships need quality time. I need to trust in Him that the Sabbath takes priority over the to-dos and accept that some things won’t get done. I cringe even as I type that last sentence… I need him to teach me to trust.

So, I’m 0 for 1 on the Sabbath thing so far. Brian said he was actually really proud of me– he’d never seen me take and hour to sit in silence and read on a Sunday! And God wants us to come to him as children– and children aren’t very good at things on the first try– so at least I nailed that part 😉