365

“Hey babe, how are you doing?”

“Tired. Just want to go to bed.”

“Well,” I said to Lindsey, “I can do the blog then.”

She just looked at me. It’s late, she’s tired from a drive and then a flight, and we’re finally standing in the elevator heading up to our hotel room. She doesn’t want to think about it, and I’m pretty tired myself.

I looked at her and smiled, “It’s the last time we’ll have this conversation.” She looked at me, then broke into a huge smile and her adorable laugh.

This is post number 365. Counting our wedding day, this is the 365th straight post chronicling our first year of marriage. It’s been wonderful, fun, and yes, even tough.

But I’m not going to get ahead of myself. We have two posts planned for tomorrow, our actual anniversary, so I just want to take care of one thing. I want to say thank you.

I don’t remember exactly what I thought a year of blogging would be like, or what I thought we’d experience. But we have loved it. It has been a wear at times, especially late nights when we we’re both wiped out, but we wouldn’t change a thing. It kept us connected to family, it helped us communicate with each other, and it opened our first year up to others. We hope it did some good for our readers, but we’re not kidding ourselves, we’re not experts. In the end, I think this was great for us, and for that I want to thank our readers.

We’re no internet sensation, but we’ve had steady readership month after month. We’ve seen hundreds of people visit every day from all around the US and the world read about our silly little dates and our not so silly fights. We thank you all for the platform and the chance to share in our story. You’ve made it a special year.

THANK YOU!!

#365. Out.

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We’ve failed

The premise of this blog was to let people into our marriage, in a way. We wanted to share this first year with friends and family flung far and wide. We also hoped that others would find insight, encouragement or just entertainment with our stories and posts. We’ve certainly had some funny stories and good responses from folks, but in reality we failed in delivering on the premise.

But, in this case failure is not bad. We failed because we did not understand marriage, or at least the nature of the relationship. We were never going to let people into our marriage at all, because I don’t think that can be done for healthy marriage.

We have found out there is little about a marriage that people really see. I hate to use the iceberg metaphor, but it’s late and I don’t have anything else. A good marriage really is like an iceberg I think. The base, the mass that keeps the whole thing afloat is unseen by most. It is the good times, it’s the arguments, it’s intimacy, service sacrifice. That goes unnoticed or happens out of sight 95% of the time. Sure you see the effects of those things (the lame and cliche metaphorical iceberg does float after all), but the real work happens out of sight.

Writing a blog doesn’t open that up to you, dear reader. It can’t, and that is okay. This fact does not relieve us of our duty to be an example to others, to demonstrate God’s love though our marriage, but it does mean we can’t show how it works (or doesn’t) all the time. Marriage must be experienced to be understood.

So, yes we failed because we took up an impossible mission, but we have succeeded beyond what we hoped. We have great readers, our friends and family have stayed in touch and know what’s going on in our lives, and we communicate openly and frequently with each other about what is going on. This blog has been an unbelievable aid to our marriage, and we thank you for being a part of it.

Seriously, thank you.

A million thanks

Well, it’s here. Summer. I made it through another school year.

Today was my first official day of summer vacation. So what’s a new wife to do with a day of freedom? I decided to take care of a few things I haven’t had time to do.

Task #1: Thank you cards

I am embarrassed to say that my thank you card to-do pile has been stacking up since the wedding. It’s so impolite. I realize this. I likely nearly killed my dear mother over the embarrassment of it all. I just felt like every time I had a moment to sit at a desk during the school year, the priority had to be grading. Thus, the thank you card pile grew.

But yesterday and today I sat down and put the pen to the notecard. I wrote 69 thank you cards and proudly marched them down to the outgoing mailbox. The mail(wo)man was at the box and I was able to place the pile into her capable hands before proudly prancing away.

The task wasn’t without its issues. Cards were separated from gifts at the wedding, so there were several gifts for which we don’t know the exact giver. On the upside– we loved everything we received, so I could accurately relay that we loved the “gift,” even though I couldn’t specify the exact nature of the “gift.” And then there was the pile of cards that were in the to do box that I could swear I already sent the thanks for. But I couldn’t leave it to chance– better two thank you cards than none at all. Better someone think I’m crazy than rude.

Though this task should be checked off as completed, I have the ridiculous feeling that I forgot to thank someone, and thus, I also have the feeling of guilt. Brian looks at me with his confused face when I try to explain this. I accept that there are things like thank you cards or high heeled wedges that he will never understand.

As I wrote the individual cards, I began to once again feel the corporate blessing of all of the gifts. We were overwhelmed by the incredible generosity and love. I remembered once more how many people contributed in ways big and small, seen and unseen to our wedding and household. It was at that point I realized that my meager 69 cards did not express the million thanks I felt in my heart. We are so blessed.

Once Task #1 was completed, it was on to Task #2: cooking a nice meal for my husband on a weeknight. This was a treat for both of us; I got to love and serve, and he got to relax and eat. For my first weeknight solo run in the kitchen as wife, I served up herb breaded baked chicken, sweet potato risotto, and green beans.

It was a satisfying first day off. Just enough to do to feel productive, but not enough for it to feel like “work.”