Finding our rhythm

In six days we will celebrate our one year anniversary. Obviously writing this blog forces us to be more conscious about our marriage is going, which is a good thing. In the course of thinking about our upcoming milestone I’ve been contemplating the normal things in our marriage.

By normal things I simply mean the rhythms of life. Today was a really great example of how we are simply learning to work out the simple things. An easy change in after work errands just because it was easier for us both, a division of labor cooking dinner and other house stuff that actually made us more efficient and saved time. Then finally after dinner the dishes were done by one of us while the other spent some time working. It was a good, quiet, productive night.

These nights are becoming more common, and that is great. It’s the sign that we are starting to settle into a rhythm. Lindsey is not fitting into my day, and I am not fitting into hers, rather we are establishing what our days look like.

Time to connect

If you spend any time in the circles we travel in these days enough you will undoubtably hear about “date night”. You’ll hear about how you need “time to reconnect”, or the value of “quality time”. There was even a book written on just this topic recently. This whole idea carries a lot of weight with people we respect. So we have made a point of having a date night each week. There is one problem though, I’m not a believer in it.

Well, I should correct myself. I wasn’t a believer in it. I’ve come around recently.

It’s not that I thought it was a bad idea or anything, of course spending time with your spouse is a great thing and the foundation of a good marriage, but I just didn’t see the need for such specific requirements. I mean, I see her all the time. Is it really that important to clear the schedule, put away the screens, and rule out talking about the day to day grind?

Well, yes, it is.

Now that the daily grind is much fuller and, well, grindy, we need the time. A few nights in the last few weeks we have been able to sit down to a good dinner, talk, laugh and just catch up. It’s been sanity saving honestly. With everything going on in our lives I have come to realize that I need this time.

Yep, that’s what I said. I need this time with my wife.

I know Lindsey will get a kick out of this post, but it’s honestly true. Before the last week or so I made sure we had date night because I knew she needed it. Now I know that I need it too.


One of the trillion things we’ve learned about God in Women’s Development is his attribute of eternity. God doesn’t exist in time like we know time. He’s past, present, and future all at once.

I hope I’m not alone in saying that this blows my mind. But I guess that it should, as I am completely bound by time. I can’t escape it– it is an intrinsic part of my experience here on earth.

So, when I began studying this eternity attribute, I got really confused. At first, it came across to me as a scary concept. If God doesn’t work in time the way that I do, then why should he care about this small thing that is happening in my life right now? If he can walk in the Garden of Eden, speak at Christ’s baptism, and be worshipped in the New Creation all at once, then why should he be present for me when I have a bad day and feel really sad?

Thank God that I kept studying him.

It’s not that he’s so occupied in doing all of these other things that seem so much more meaningful to me than my silly day. That’s not the reality at all. Rather, God’s eternity means that he’s not entangled by time. He doesn’t get caught up in it as we do. He exists above time. This allows him to be present in every single second of my life.

I’m in awe of this. I cannot comprehend this entirely, but it fills me with such joy to know that my Creator is here with me in everything. I am never alone. There is nothing he does not know or somehow missed because his head was turned. And in meditating on this, I feel so loved. He never leaves my side.

Also in my thinking on time, I’m struck by this: our purpose on this earth is to glorify God. That’s it. That’s why we were created. When I think of how few moments in each day I am actually living out that purpose, I am deeply convicted. God doesn’t just show up when we’re glorifying him, obeying him, or reading his Word– no, our God is there for every second of my selfishness, every minute that I seek the approval of people, and every hour that I waste with distraction. I pray that on the day I sit before him on the judgment seat of Christ, the moments that he sees where I fulfilled my purpose will be so many more than exist to date. 


Syncing up our lives

Lindsey and I are very different people in some ways. There may be no better example of this than first thing in the morning. What do I mean? Well, so far ‘first thing in the morning’ has been about 2.5 hours apart for us just to start.

Additionally, she is just so dang perky in the morning it’s almost irritating. Or is it that I am so cranky that I can’t enjoy anything before coffee and a shower? Hmmm… probably a bit of both.

But this morning was different. I intentionally got up just a little after her and tried to start our morning around the same time. It’s not that I’m any help to her in the mornings, we’ve already proven that I just slow her down, but I was tired of going to bed a few hours after she did. For a couple of reasons, it just did not feel right.

It was great this morning. I was able to say goodbye to her for real, get a cup of coffee, read my Bible, and get a bit of work done on a new writing project– all before my normal workday started. If those are the benefits of being a morning person on top of being more in sync with my wife, then sign me up.

So, for this week I am trying to go to bed as close to the same time as her as possible, and wake up early. We’ll see how long this works… Now, off to bed with me.