Grateful

Brian and I can’t stop talking about our wedding. It was such fun. Sunday’s post about wedding planning may have come across a tad anti-wedding, which is certainly not the case. We stand by all of it– honest sentiments in an honest moment. But here’s the rest of the story…

We are so grateful for our wedding day. Truly. We are grateful for our families who helped us to pay for and plan the day. We are grateful for our amazing vendors who cared for and spoiled us. We are grateful that so many of our friends and family came, braving the minor hurricane that raged outside, to celebrate our special day with us. It was amazing.

We didn’t get pulled apart too often during the night, as when we did I began to yell “Husband!” until Brian returned to my side, but we have so enjoyed filling each other in on the moments that the other was not there for. There were precious words whispered in ears, hilarious instances with family, and truly wonderful interactions with friends. Sharing these with each other– filling each other in on the other parts of the wedding– has been so joyful. I would encourage all of you to continue to share these moments with us when we return.

Moving the ceremony indoors at the last second ended up working out after all. No, not everyone could see us say our vows, but all could hear them. And those who didn’t see the vows witnessed my father seeing me as I came down the stairs. It went from an outdoor garden wedding to a cozy, intimate affair– complete with a roaring fire. It was so sweet. And it allowed us to refocus our minds to what was really important that day– no, it was not an ideal situation or even entirely comfortable for everyone– but Brian and I entered into a convenant relationship with God, committing ourselves to each other and to Him as a unit for the rest of our days.

I was talking to another bride here on vacation who also got married last Saturday in Austin, and they, too, had to move their outdoor ceremony indoors. As my thoughts on the day rolled off my tongue,  realized that they were true. I told her that the rain didn’t change the important things. Sure– the party planner inside of me was disappointed that my party that I worked so hard to put together wouldn’t be executed as envisioned. However, the most important parts of the day not only remained intact, but even rose to the forefront in importance (as they should have from the beginning): we said our vows and made our commitment, surrounded by the friends and family we love and hold most dear. And for that, we will forever be grateful.

His and Hers Advice for Wedding Planning

Well, by now the wedding is over and we are off on the honeymoon enjoying a well-deserved rest. At least, I hope so. We are writing posts this week ahead of time to publish while we are busy doing a whole lot of nothing… in Jamaica. Woohoo!

One of the things that we decided early on to write about is the “how” of putting togther a wedding and what we have learned. Hopefully, you will find something here that is useful (or maybe funny if you are already on the other side). So, here are our thoughts on the whole process, from both a His and Hers point-of-view.

Hers:

  • I thought the people who told us to jump on a plane and get married on a beach were either insane or over-exaggerating. They weren’t. Buy two plane tickets and get married on beach in a J.Crew sundress. If you’re not convinced, you can read on, but I urge you to consider the beach. Really.
  • Budget first. We didn’t. We dove in, then budgeted. Budget first and stick to it.
  • Be honest. Be honest about finances, what’s important, and what you want.
  • Go through a serious pre-marital counseling program. The one we did through our church, Austin Stone, was great. I’m so glad that we did it, because otherwise, all focus would have been on the wedding day and I would have had no clue what to do the day after.
  • For the DIY girls: If you want to be a DIY-er that is great and admirable and all, but it really only works if you don’t have a full-time job. I was ambitious and consequently, a bit foolish. Ask for help, get a coordinator, or don’t worry about so many freakin’ details– you’re the only one who is going to notice them anyways! (Note: I’m very proud of my decor and theme and could not have followed my own advice on this one.)
  • Use mine. Use my venue, photographer, florist, bakery, and caterers. Seriously. You’ll be SO happy with these incredible people and you will have a beautiful day!
  • Etsy, Pinterest, Goodwill, and vintage stores are your best friends. And then use your decor to spruce up your new home 🙂
  • Keep this as your mantraAt the end of the day, we will be married. So when it rains, repeat the mantra. When your decor falls apart, repeat your mantra. When there is a major catastrophe and you’re at your whits end, repeat your mantra. Repeat your mantra. Repeat your mantra. 

His:

  • Don’t do it. I’m serious. Don’t do the whole big wedding thing. It’s fun to throw a big party, and it’s great to have your loved ones there, but it’s just not worth the money, the time, or the frustration. I’ll post about the evil wedding industry later, but to suffice it to say… I’m not a fan.
  • Spend just as much time preparing for the marriage as you do for the wedding. They are NOT the same thing.
  • If you do have to have a big wedding, I have two words: Budget and Priorities. Your budget needs to be set first and each line-item needs to be driven by your priorities.
  • Trust me, you cannot underestimate how much a wedding means to a girl and her mother. Even if the plan is to be small and intimate, trust me do not treat anything lightly.
  • The only things you will have a month after the wedding are the pictures and the dress. Everything else will be in a landfill somewhere.
  • Lighten up and have fun. You only do this once, so enjoy it!